I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
