alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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