If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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