I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
someone threw a dead crab at me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize