You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
