Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
