Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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