I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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