I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
