Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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