My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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