If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
