dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
