It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Randomize
