dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
