I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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