I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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