Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
