absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
