CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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