the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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