I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
