are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
