We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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