I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
be right there i have to get my cape
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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