Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I touched a dick in church today
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
