Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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