my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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