Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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