It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
