and you said cock pushups were impossible
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
