every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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