My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
