i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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