So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
