I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize