Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
