She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
that's an acceptable place to lick
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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