Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
