Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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