I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
