My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
