he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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