I love black thongs
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
