the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
