I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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