Buhtt sex?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
