How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come share oat with me in your robe
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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