the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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