I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
