I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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