it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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