All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Life without a bra equals bliss.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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