just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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