I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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