Midget sex pt 2 tonight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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