He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
