I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
