he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
