can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
