dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im holly from the hills drunk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
