Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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