Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
